Participation Trophies

If participation trophies were awarded for completing life, I'd be awarded one for participating in what I thought life entailed... Rites of passage. Giving yourself away. Late nights. Lost sleep. Succumbing to peer pressure. Ignoring your passions. Avoiding your heart's desires. Hell, I might have won first place for it. Do I regret it? Absolutely. I wasted time. Pleasing others. Running from myself. Chasing, searching, yearning, longing. For what? Everything I could have provided myself years ago. Support. Love. Encouragement. Commitment. Instead, I sought what I chased in others. And every time, I was disappointed. I chased after the very things I didn't want, but didn't know it yet. I was hurt, because I hurt myself. I concluded I was alone. But truth be told, I never was alone. I had support. I had intuition. I had mentors and guides. But I never saw them. If I had to go through everything all over again to get to where I am now? I wouldn't. Because I would have trusted what I had known all along. I would have loved myself sooner. I wouldn't have felt the need to participate in what didn't serve me, And what no longer served me. Instead I would have chosen me, and all that I am. Here I am today, And that's more than the version of me yesterday could say. I showed up for her, and all the previous versions of myself. And every day, I have the choice to show up for her - the person she has been searching for.